On October 22, 2024, @JoyyUnSpeakable broke the internet (well, almost) with a viral post on X that quickly racked up nearly 50 million views. She shared a letter from her husband that many of us can relate to—or at least laugh (or sigh) along with.
Ladies … choose yourself. I woke up to this nonsense after almost 11 years of marriage pic.twitter.com/oFyr2WUmfg
— The Stay @ Home Fragrance Mama (@JoyyUnSpeakable) October 22, 2024
The letter began with a familiar confession for anyone in a relationship:
“Let me start this off by saying that I love you dearly. You mean the world to me. However, I owe it to myself as well as you to be completely honest with you. I have to come forward with my truth. I hate to do it this way, but it’s now or never because what I’m about to say has to be said.”
It was the night of the New York Knicks’ 2024-2025 season opener, and her husband was setting his intentions for the evening. For sports fanatics—or those in relationships with them—what followed felt all too familiar: “Tonight, I will not be a husband or father. Y’all are on your own.”
He lovingly, but with a seriousness any sports fan would recognize, informed her that from 7 p.m. until the game’s end, the only thing on his mind was Knicks basketball. Family duties? Non-existent. Their 10-year-old son, Ethan? Could stay up—if he watched the game, of course. The rest of the season might be negotiable, but when the playoffs come…forget about it.
”No, I will not watch our shows with you. No, I will not get you something sweet,” he continued. “I will not take the dog out. I will not get the kid in bed either. I will sit on my couch, drink in hand and I will watch the game. That’s it.”
The humorous post struck a chord with fans, particularly those who shared in the replies that they, too, sometimes need to “opt out” of daily tasks to catch a game. Others noted they’d love it if their partners shared their enthusiasm, emphasizing how shared interests can bring couples closer.
While the letter resonated with many sports fans, others took it as a point of criticism, suggesting it hinted at a lack of involvement. Joy was quick to set the record straight to TODAY, saying, “There have been so many attacks on my husband, and he doesn’t deserve it.” She stressed that the letter was intended to be tongue-in-cheek. “Fred cooks, he cleans, he’ll come home from a long day and help our son with his homework,” she clarified. “He does all the things.”
While dads might feel comfortable marking “do not disturb” on game day, it’s not as easy for moms to claim sports time—or any time. Many comments reflected on how responsibilities, routines, and the constant nature of parenting often make it difficult for moms to get those sacred hours to unwind.
Fred’s letter humorously highlights the importance of these moments while sparking an honest conversation on supporting each other’s downtime. The takeaway? Maybe letters like Fred’s are the nudge moms need to start drafting “me time” notes of their own, too. After all, a balanced partnership makes room for both parents to relax and enjoy their favorite pastimes.
